(Charlie Brissette/Tom Armbruster)
REN: Stimpy, what's all that racket about?
STIMPY: I'm tap dancing Ren. Pretty good, huh?
REN: It just sounds like noise to me. And you look even more stupid than
STIMPY: Oh pshaw. Tap dancing is fun Ren. Why don't you join me?
REN: Ohhh nooo! I'm no eediot.
STIMPY: Come on...No one will ever see you.
REN: No way!
STIMPY: Just put on these shoes and move your feet...
REN: Back off man! I can do it.
STIMPY: Now, don't you feel better?
REN: Hey! This is fun! You're right Stiimpy. I'm sorry I'm all the time so
mean to you.
STIMPY: Think nothing of it buddy!
It's really great-to havea chum
Who's kind and caring and lost of fun
He slaps me around when I feel blue
Only a pal would do that for you
His name is Ren and when it comes to a friend
No one is better
Your turn pal.
REN: O.K. Buddddd...(scream) You eediot, if you're going to tap dance do it on
your own two feet.
He's really fat but I admit
He's not so dumb for an eediot
I hate the smell of his litter box
ANd when he fills with glue my stay-put socks
He's lost his mind, but when I'm in a bid
He's better than no one!
REN: Would you comb my hair?
STIMPY: With glee!
REN: Would you polish my toes?
STIMPY: For free!
REN: Would you shave my tongue?
REN & STIMPY: You're the friend for me!
My friend to the end-which I hope is soon
Has a head full of air like a red balloon
A balloon head, wow! what a great thing to be
You always say the nicest things to me.
REN: You're a fool
STIMPY: But I think you're cool
No one is better!
STIMPY: Would you tell me a story?
REN: No way!
STIMPY: Would you pick my nose?
REN: For pay!
STIMPY: Would you scratch my back?
STIMPY: Pluck my brows?
STIMPY: Clean my box?
STIMPY: Lick my fur?
REN: Alright Stimpy! That's it! I've had enough of your stupid questions!
The anser is no! No, I tell you. A thousand times nooooooo!
STIMPY: Oh, just asking!
REN: We're opposites by nature
STIMPY: He's a dog and I'm a cat-I think
REN: But put us both together
STIMPY: And we're the perfect match
I'm glad he's here to tell me what to do!
REN: Somebody's got to think for you
You may be a dud, but when I need a bud
You're better than no one!
STIMPY: No one is better!
REN: You're better than...
STIMPY: No one is...
REN: Better than...
STIMPY: No one...
REN & STIMPY: No one is better.