Gumby Jaws Lament Lyrics

("Weird" Al Yankovic - accordion) 

I've never really understood
Why my family hated me
But I know they did
All of them.
Right from the start. 

I never had many friends of my own
We moved a lot
We had to
My mother was mentally ill
And she would start fires in nurseries
So we had to move a lot. 

I never graduated from school
I just stopped going after the seventh grade
I remember not being able to do enough pushups
And this fat homosexual gym coach
Kept pushing me on the back of my neck
That's when I first realized
That I didn't want to become another
Old fat homosexual gym coach
Life is like that. 

I watched a lot of television
Mostly the game shows
I could tell you the cost of about anything
Between 1966 and 1969
But that and a nickel won't get me on a bus
I love buses
I really like the smell don't you
I could live in the middle of a crowded bus 

If someone asked you for a quarter
So that they could play a song on the jukebox
And you gave it to them
And they bought a cup of coffee instead
Would you be mad 

I've never really understood
Why my family hated me
But I know they did
All of them.
Right from the start.
That's why. 

Yeah. 

sallysally@usa.net