The Joker's Wild Lyrics

"Welcome to another exciting episode of Del Ray's number one 
game show, The Joker's Wild! Shaggy, tell us something about 
tonight's contestants." 

"Hey, motherfuckers 
Get ready for the killer show of this bitch 
We gotta cop, we gotta judge, and we gotta redneck 
So step the fuck up and play the Joker's Wild!" 

Woohoo! 
Everybody smile 
Guess who's back on your underground dial (who?) 
It's the game show host with the most (Violent J) 
And tonight we finna have a little pig roast 
Cop copper, it's been a long while 
Lace up your boots and come on down the aisle 
Mr. Pig-Man packing that steel 
But tonight, you ain't shit, now spin the fuckin wheel 
Looks good, nice try 
Now let's see just how ya gonna die? 
Lucky, lucky, he landed on Carpenter Jed 
He just pounds nails in your forehead 
The pig got lucky that time 
But let's take a look who's next down the line 
Oh, the 43rd District judge 
Hey pal, remember me 
You threw me in jail 
Take a spin or I'll snap your neck 
The clicker's landed, let me check 
The Jokey, hey it ain't bad at all 
We just cut your face off and slap your skull 
Who's next for the games and fun? 
Hillbilly Earl, come on down, run 
The redneck that sicked his dog on me 
Now that's gonna cost you a spin, buddy 
Spin around and around it goes 
Staple your lips shut, cut off your toes 
Then I throw your corpse on top of the pile 
Anything goes on the Joker's Wild 

"Tell me who killed 17 people and later ate their dead bodies?" 
"Jeffrey Dahmer." 
"No, the correct answer would be your mother. Shaggs?" 

"Aww, shit, motherfuckers 
Get ready for round two of this bitch 
So, if you want your fucking neckbone chopped 
Step the fuck up and play the Joker's Wild!" 

You like big money and prizes, don't ya 
You'd probably kill for a big prize, won't ya 
Ya little bitch, it's your turn to spin 
Free money, now spin again 
Oh goody, the unzip your drawers 
I'm finna clip this chain on your balls 
Raise ya upside down for the bang bada 
Now we bust your head like a pinata (hey!) 
The audience loves that shit 
Listen to em cheer when your forehead splits 
Wait! Cut to a break, oh shit, d-damn ah 
We got guts on the camera 

"The Joker's Wild is brought to you by...Faygo 
EVERYBODY SING!!" 
"Send your momma straight up to the store, tell that bitch to bring home a 
Faygo" 

Welcome back to the Carnival Show 
Here's your chance for the big money cash flow 
Hit your buzzer, pull your lever 
Joker, joker, lemon, we sever your head 
Pick a door, one, two, or three 
It's the same behind every door, me 
There's no escape, now gimme that bald head 
The crowd can't help, look, they're all dead 
At home they just watching your doom 
We broadcast from hell to your living room 
I ripped off his knuckle, wicked clown style 
Anything goes on the Joker's Wild 

"It's time to play hit or miss. Contestant number one, open your 
mouth. Contestant number two, get ready. Will he hit or miss.... 
HE HIT! What's next?" 

"We got money, we got cash, we got prizes 
We got blood, we got guts 
We got naked dead bitches on the Joker's Wild" 

I got my yellow suit and my purple tie 
Somebody's gonna die, oh my 
It's Mr. Thompson, my next door neighbor 
Always bitchin, yellin from the kitchen 
Window, see he died and he went to hell though 
We meet again, I got my own game show 
Spin the wheel, cuz I just can't fuck around 
BONUS ROUND! 
Oh shit, the end of the game 
Bonus round, we goin' out with a bang 
You gotta chance for money and prizes 
You gotta chance at death, too hahah 
So get ready, I'm coming at'cha fast 
Your chance for freedom at last 
Four questions, so are you ready, Jack? 
"Uh, I think so", load the gat 

"The cop in here?" 
"Eats butt." 
"Yes. The square root of two?" 
"Uhhh..." 
"Correct. Nutsacs don't belong in?" 
"Butt cracks" 
"Right. Richboys eat?" 
"Caviar." 
"No, the correct answers bullets." (gunshots) 

"Oh geez, this is Bink Chipperwink saying so long till next week folks 
See ya later, goodbye" 

"That's it, go home (aww!)"